I learned to love maturely... meaning, loving the same person in silence...no more bitterness just shrugging of shoulders as if telling myself "that's life". What ever it is the caused me pains before, they are all part of the love that I know I will never regret.... It just that....I can't see myself falling in love with another person.... not yet....though I am not hoping anymore... I guess loving someone intensely makes me feel fulfilled, and whether or not new love comes along, I guess I am okey....now my dogs have my undivided affection (they used to have only 70% of it hahaha...). Learning to set aside resentments and loving my dogs more than I have loved the person( but still no male can equal what I felt for him). I've been busy taking care of my dogs, buy them clothes, panic when they are sick, having my two doggies are really like home..... And if God will allow, and give me a good source of living, I will just choose to stay home taking care of them.... I just can't feel it in my heart to long for a new love coz when I think of love I always ended up thinking of the same man.... why not, he is still the closest man in my life...Next to God he is the only one who knows me inside and out. I am not closing my door to friendship, it may not be possible now but I know someday we can become friends again without complications.... I've been busy picking up the pieces of my life.... working on the backlogs and spill overs of the previous years..... but I am only human.... and that being constantly reminds me that I have never talked about love for a long time.....after 10 crazy years loving only one man....but then I am thankful I never longed for love desperately, I never look for a lover desperately.....I guess single life is okey....I just can't force myself to like someone just for the sake of having a someone in my life... I guess I am happy this way.... at this point of my life, the only man that can get my attention is a Veterinarian.... I just can't talk about love... not at this time that I know who is still holding my heart....
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