I envy Peso when I watch him asleep

(This is just a revival..I published this December of last year...Just saw the picture and realized that it fits one of my blogs...honestly that's not where peso really sleeps. it was just one of his afternoon naps. Things have changed...mom died last may...so some of the things here were not updated anymore,I changed one word in the title)

It's a routinary scene everynight...when I prepared my bedroom for I sleep. I sprayed insect killer and Air freshener, turned off the light to open the lampshade, then turn on the electric fan...But I'm not going to sleep yet...it's peso who's ready to fall asleep, and he knows exactly when it's time to enter the bedroom. He knows his place in the bed and he assumed that the extra pillow is his....he has several positions when he is in deep sleep, the cutest are when he is lying flatly on the bed and when he leaned his head on the pillow, I enjoyed watching him not only because of his adorable cuteness, but also because of the peace that I see in him. I guess he never really had the so called troubled sleep... a kind of sleep common to emotionally disturb people. He is a picture of confidence to a brighter tomorrow, that I will always be around to feed him, bath him(no matter how he hates it), to take care of him and to love him as if he is my baby..... I can't remember the last time I slept that way....I guess it was more than a decade ago. When my father was still alive and my mother was still as dependable as ever...I guess when you accept your responsibilities and roles in life, you'll have fewer sleep. When i worry with my mom's health, I have little sleep...When I remember my other debts, I can't really sleep...But at least I'm thankful I still have my mom around, I'm thankful of my two loveable doggies, and most of all I'm thankful I was able to finish one episode of my life when I thought loneliness could kill me....at least my sleepless nights are not all worthless....coz I dedicated it to those who deserve my unconditional love...

I hate......I hate ...I hate...!!!!!

Peso is not happy there..he is mad and annoyed....what I'm feeling now is similar to that.. or even worse....yesterday was a holiday and I was not happy for that....holidays are for the rich...not for me...I'm expecting my salary on monday and the Government declared the holiday late....my situation then was close to pathetic and I hate the world for it....I have no more budget for monday....I almost beg coz I need to feed my dogs and myself as well....I have so much hatred deep within me...I hate the tricycle drivers at our neighborhood, I hate one neighbor, I hate those who never understood what it felt like to have nothing to spend for simple basic needs....I hate those who don't consider my comments...I hate to celebrate somebody else's departure... I hate to join them in party.. I hate people who excanged their principles for money.!!I hate being told that I should befriend May Manauis coz someday I'm going to need her...damn you all!!!!

"why dog's picture in my blog post?"

He is no ordinary dog...he's the dog of my life....my adorable dog...a younger brother that I never had, my guardian angel in disguise..... I called him "PESO"....a name no one can forget...

From now on Peso will be a part of my blog, as he portrays a big role in my life....so why him?he is the positive aspect of my life. He represents the loving part of me....He is like a friendly soul sent to me by God, so that I can always stand up after all the sorrows I've encountered in my life...Peso made me recover faster when mommy died....he sees me when I cried, he's the very first man ever to see me naked(hahaha), he always follow me wherever I go....and he never sleeps without me....so we are really inseparable unless I'm in the office.... Now that I'm all alone, I depend a lot to Peso....Passing all the responsibilities to him when I'm not home....I guess of all the dogs I had, PESO will be one to stay with me even after this lifetime...

Why I blog.....

I blog for one and only reason...And that is to "write"...blogging allowed me to express my writing itches....my sentiments....my unexposed world....my guardian angels that bark...my inspirations...my love....blogging enhances the creativity hidden at the depth of my innermost persona. Now is the proper time...let's one prolific mind be cultivated....

Wait a minute....

< Well I'm not done with my dogs episode yet...I mean..Peso is not my only dog....I have a 1 year old girl and I called her "Pissy", short for Piseta, which means another Philippine Currency or Peso counterpart...She is not as smart as Peso but she has her own talent....well she can stand up and balance for a longer seconds or minutes...she does not understand everything that I told her but her playful attitude and sweetness made me very very fond of her..just take a look...she looks wild but she's really sweet and polite..

Relationship in a higher level

I've been in a relationship for years now...and it's only just now that I realized how deeply I got involved in it....I am in a way happy..but I have fears....now that I completely committed myself to it, now I realized all the possibilities....now I am beginning to feel so depensive of my being...that my parents' raised me well, that whatever choices I made in my life it's my own personal decision and I'm the only one to be blamed...That I am once a good girl and this choice that I made is the only blemish in my being....now I'm one of those that I used to observe...now I'm one of those who decided to live with a wrong decision in exchange of pleasures that only heart can recognize....but i don't regret what I did...I am just beginning to accept the new me.....the me that my love ones never knew exists....I guess it's really saying goodbye to the old me..including my values.....but I swear not to be that different to my old me....I will always try to maintain and set my limitations....and try to be extra careful....I mean I pray for God's guidance... I know how I disappointed him...I know he did so many things so that I can always maintain the old me...it was me really....