Good time with my younger friends

I had a great time last night with Marisse and Mark...yes at last the gimicks that we planned 2 months ago were fulfilled last night and it's worth the wait...well I was always the reason why it didn't push through, I have plenty of reasons...but their eagerness to be with my company overwhlemed me so finally I gave in... So for the first time I go out with people younger than me....younger but more mature than I when it comes to some part of life where maturity is required... Honestly I feel so happy to have friends like them....first time ko to go out with friends na ako ang pinakamatanda and imagine the age difference, parang it's like going out with my younger counsins Ralph and Hiyas....

Paranoia during my one month and a half delayed period

I know it's impossible, but at those times when my period failed to come on time, I was worried...I'm not ready...I'm not financially stable...I'm thinking, if it's meant to happen it will happen. Some friends encouraged me, they said it was a blessing from the Lord....hidden deep inside me is a feeling of longing to have it too...but I have fear....I was about to accept things as they are, trying to plan the next steps that I should do, just in case..... when it finally arrived, At last.it was extra heavy maybe trying to make up for the lost time....and when the paranoia is over, all I have to say is "sayang"...

Very touching

everything about my mom really touches me... and when I encountered person whose concern to her is more than I expected, it really melts my heart... Sang called, she said, she would like to have early lunch with us, but need to leave at exactly 1pm for a meeting. She works somewhere in clark and she's in Manila for a meeting, I was sending her to where she can get a cab when she handed me something....and when I looked at it was a 1000 bill, she said "it's for mommy,buy her fruits or anything that she needs." I just can't thank her enough... it's not the money (it's 2000 pala)it's how she remembers my mom. I mean Sang is always like that, I can always say that she's really one of the angels in my life, she always arrived in a perfect timing, at times when I'm in need of a company of a friend. Yesterday I just solved some of my financial problems. I never ask her for it but she's giving it with all her heart. trully I'm bless with real good friends. Friends who remained their feet on the ground inspite of what they achieved in life....
(This was written on April 2005, just last year, it feels like a couple of years ago. I'm reviving this for Sang's Birthday, really don't know if she was able to read this before)

Uncertainties

My delayed menstruation is taking my sanity.. why? becoz it brings me back to my younger years when it was normal for me not to have my period everymonth..I remember how I got disappointed when I thought it was coming but it did not.... I have a noticeably delayed period starting February of this year, i expected it on the 5th of the month but it arrived Feb 13 or 14, then in March it didn't arrive at all. It's now April 13 and I'm still waiting anxiously for it. I wonder if all the strenous activities that I did and will do can make it flow...a crazy funny thing I entertained in my mind is now frightening me....It's impossible I know...but I can't relax until I have it....

About Pope John Paul II

Pope's death reminded me of him in my childhood days...I can't remember the exact year, when he first came to Philippines as Pope, but as far as I remember, I was not even in my teenage years then...Then I remember my father who is really a catholic at heart. He was the one who encouraged me to rejoice the Pope's visit, my father made me develop a fondness for Pope and how significant is his role in the catholic religion...then, 1995 the dear Pope visited again, This time with the Theme of "World Youth Day". For reasons that I can't recall, I didn't exert much to see him. I never really had a change of heart, I guess I was just so carefree and so rebellious that in my immature mind I said, "the Pope, he is so Holy and yet only influential and rich people can freely greet him and ask for his blessings"...I mean just like our Lord, Pope has tremendous love for everybody but I was so jealous then of the rich people. See, who was with him at the stage? former Pres. Cory Aquino and other personalities. And then I feel that in his holiness, there's this dying cure for discrimination....but of course It was not the Pope's fault...then I also realized, if everybody can come to pope at that moment, there will be chaos...it is just so hard that in order to practise descipline, it's the common people who got eliminated or controlled....but that never changed my respect for pope... I may not be actively patronizing him but he has a spot in my heart for I remember my father in him...In his death I felt sad for not thinking too much of him when he was alive...but then I am happy for it awakens a feeling in me, and that is to go back to praying...slowly....and ask for guidance and forgiveness...though I am still remote to change.....I tried to witness his burial via television...at least for the last time, I spent time for him, somehting that I should have done before....

while waiting for the time

I decided to blog while waiting for the time....it's close to 730pm, still in the office waiting.....maybe 10 minutes from now I'll leave, making this blog a history just like the rest....Wish I can be more intimate with blogs, wish someday my blog will be noticed just like the rest that I just browsed...can't they find "Life at a glance" as a striking title..?I hope not coz I want to talk about life in general...and my life too....

Some experiences are not meant to be shared

Hehehe If a particular experience or event in your life can't be shared, it could only mean one thing....it's a secret....a kind of secret that you wish you can share with your friends....but it requires proper timing...anyways it was'nt a worst secret naman,in fact in a way it provides me happiness in this sometimes mean world...yes I am happy though for some its more of a destruction than happiness...but I don't mind...it's not my problem...I have enough problems to consider and I decided to focus on them...Mommy's health, financial mismanagement, career...My secret is not a problem...just additional knowledge...puzzled?

My Blogday

2 weeks before the end of march, I realized I didn't blog that much...my blogday friday became inconsistent..I became so busy and I took it seriously....well last night, mom and I just watched TV, at channel 22 Cinemaone. Old films by Vilma Santos and Sharon Cuneta but we enjoyed watching it as much as we watched it before. what I enjoyed most is the bonding among the four of us..including dogs...I really feel at home...I forced myself to sleep at around 2:00am.

Manic Monday

Unlike the title my Monday's not so manic..I started right...I really feel fulfilled when I left the house with confidence that I was able to feed mommy and the babies right, when I know mom drunk all her medicines and finished her high protein drink...when I reached LRT station he was already there....I am always pleasant to him inspite of all his shortcomings..and I blame myself for being too soft when in comes to him...and my Monday became manic.... and it's all because of the war deep inside of me....but I chose to work seriously...and try to find an answer at the back of my mind....when will I say goodbye....I just feel so sad being with him.....but i can't say goodbye....

So far so good

Life's ok so far....I guess life's really like that... that I should expect good to worst and worst to good....I've been very busy with my job....oo nga pala..I'm working for the President, I mean we're working for the President, and considering her workloads, how can we complain....the whole nation on her shoulder, well at least we have our shares of whatever moves she made for the good of the country. Do I sound like I'm her loyalist? of course not...I'm still the same person who dislike politics. and hey she's not the first president of my life.. I mean as far as career is concerned, I started working with FVR,then ERAP and now with GMA....quite prolific past in a way...how glamorous....pero I need cash...hehe. joke lang...

For how long?

I've never known myself as someone with endless patience....until I met this person, but It took me years to realize it. I thought I was just giving him another chance....I thought I just demanded too much....I thought he loves me....I thought he didn't mean to hurt me... yeah I guess I think so much....or expect too much.....not because I've known him long enough, it would not mean he is not capable to do things that really would hurt me so much.... Now I'm hurting because all those years I've spent with him, I realized he only changes for worst.....for how long will I take a person who only listen to things he only wants to hear? For how long will I take him when he never knows what's inside of me?and when I initiate to talk about it he refused.....For how long will I make a fool of myself.? for how long will I resent his unfair treatment to me....? For how long will I hate him but too coward to show him....How come I run out of striking passages to make him realize how unfair he is... and selfish too...I don't want to reach the point of hating him to the point of almost cursing him.....for how long will I take him......I want to forget him.....but one thing is sure..someday you'll cry too because of me....

can't blog tomorrow

well it's only thursday today, and I'll do my friday blogday in advance because tomorrow is a holiday Feb 25. EDSA Revolution...but obviously i'm overtime, helping mark to fax all those memo to all gov't agencies....yeah i will have a long weekend but I'll work to death on monday....need to follow up those that I faxed, and gee I need to make an attendance, meeting is on wednesday, Mark will be on a meeting on monday,no ones going to assist me.. and my boss, she's expecting me to finish the list of updated contact numbers of all Presidential Action Officers....andami kong backlog.....this is really a prosperous new year ha...I'm not complaining....at least I'm useful....need to fix my things I'm going home na and my shuttle service is waiting..

My busy blogday friday

can't really blog today such a busy day and it's almost night, i'm preparing to go home

Post Valentine Comment (in fairness)

well It was not really a sad valentine at all, at the end of the day, I recieved a valentine card from someone. Obviously he is not so comfortable in giving cards and write some mushy thing on it....so opposite of my persona..but in a way it's ok....i guess it's the best valentine ever, no celebration but we were together on our way home....

My Valentine's Day Episode

Valentines day always come to my life like a wind. it just passed me by...but with or without a special someone, my previous valentines were all memorable and special...My 2005 valentine is equally memorable, but it is sad...I am not sad for the reason that I'm still unattached. I am sad because I know I am not really that unattached. But the person I'm attached with has somehow lost all his remaining romance in the world...can't even write me a note, can't even spend a hundred peso or even less, and it's almost 9:30am, is it asking too much if he would just call and greet me? really am wasting my time....

Pre Valentines' day Blogday Friday special

Just last Friday I am in a different mood, at least now I'm ok.... Gosh I'm having a hard time losing weight....I'm not so eager to exercise. Am I really getting old? so valentines day is nearing so what's new...unattached as usual....si Peso pa rin ang valentino ko. no regrets, I love him naman eh...

Friday Blogday, My first for the month of Feb

How about a sad start for the month of February....really hate myself for allowing him to make me feel like this....you'll have your day boy!...someday you're going to pay for this!

Last Friday Blogday of the month

Hey I almost forgot to blog today...what a busy week...I mean I should expect busier days ahead of me....many beautiful things are happening well financial I mean. I hope it's a wise decision on my part to get my pag-ibig fund 10th year maturity...almost everybody availed for it, so I guess it's ok. but I need to be careful with my money..I might as well save it...coz I paid for it for almost 10 years. I don't think I can just spend it.

My Friday Blogday Episode

I've lost count already...anyways, I guess 'm so busy both at home and at the office...imagine of all the things I can forget, I can't believe I forgot Sang's Birthday...and realized it only when yet told me about it...am I getting old or is it my struggle to survive life no matter how hard it is... I mean, am I taking life so seriously? or am taking my mother's condition so seriously that I have a different focus now....I have missed so many occasions like cousin's bday, nephew's bday, Family christmas party, and teambuildings with officemates...Vecky's father died, and I can't even go to their house for last respect, how I wish I can be with vec as she was with me when my father died. But what can I do Las Piñas is so malayo from Marikina....and I have a mother who can't even take care of herself anymore...and I told myself not to make gimicks on weekend for it's my two whole day with her...my two dogs are my consolations...they give me joys even when there are so much to do at home....really from the heart, my apologies to all my friends...hope they can feel it in their hearts...

My Friday blogday episode January 14,2005

I'm a little bit sad...and I'm a little bit disappointed. I'm disappointed to what I'm doing, accepting him in my life once again...I guess it's really hard to remain friends with someone you used to fell in love intensely. I'm trying to give him a fair treatment inspite of all the pain that he caused me, but it always ended up beyond to what my mind wants to happen. I just want us to be friends, how come we are saying goodbye intimately again? I must stop this...because I hate all the feelings that comes with it... I hate it when he never had a thought of a single day with me....I hate it when I go home alone....I hate it when I suspect he's seeing another one...and I hate it when I become sad because he went home early....and I guess I hate him for making me feel like this.... I guess I'm too weak to tell him how much I fear having him in my life, that I don't wanna be as sad as I were a few months ago...... I hate myself for this....I really feel bad.....I don't wanna think it's because I wasn't able to have a taste of cake that toti gave to boss cel..sana ganon lang talaga ako kababaw..ay naku it's friday pa naman.... and I feel like I want to cry.....