Blocking

Anything with a hole, should be blocked. But depending on its purpose in your life, blocking may not be really that necessary. This hole in my life is about the void that I sometimes feel. I know my life is happier now..... realizing I can go on after he turned his back on me. That surprisingly, I was not as hurt and bitter as before.... I feel pain yes but it did not dominantly rule my life now... suddenly other things matter the most.... I am happy with the development in my job, I'm happy with my friends and relatives, and I now remember laughing hard again coz I can't remember the last great laugh that I had.....but sometimes in my happiness, there's this one corner that pinched my fancy, enough for me to remember him, how I used to consider him first above all things.... I always ask myself if I will be happier if we're still together, or will I still ache to his overwhelming rollercoaster affection....then I will miss him....when I miss him recollection follows, how we were before, how his love brought clouds all around me. But to stop the missing him symdrome, I honestly tell myself that we no longer feel the same anymore.... that I'm the only one missing him, and it's next to impossible for him to miss me....that he never really loved me, that he is just good in pretending. Those things help me not to indulge in loneliness of not having someone. Maybe when a relationship is meant to end, even in the presence of love in your heart, you will let go, no pulling of sleeve, no need to ask why, no need to talk about it.... I never really believe in formal break up.... but I know it's over...no matter how fool you were just to please him, if it's over it's over. It's becoming my habit to block anything that will lead me to miss him.... it's about time to protect myself from pain... I know I have suffered a lot, now I deserve to be happy. I don't really wish for another hero to uplift my once breaking ego.... I don't believe I will need one in order to forget one.... I know I will be happier, even without men in my life.... and that independence will be my asset to attract the right person, if God permits.