Changes after mommy's departure

I'm in my first week of living my life without a mother. I mean she's completely gone after I sent her to her last home...with my father. Life is conveniently good...I am not rushing to go home....when I reach home which is not my home...(I'm temporarily staying at tita norma's house,,very few memories of mommy, no peso, no pissy but with Internet which I can use comfortably hehe). I don't rush home to cook and I have no one to care about whether she likes to eat or not...at my tita's house somebody cooks for me, do the laundry for me, buy something from the store for me... all I need to do is watch tv and mind myself. all for myself...very very far from what I was many years ago....for the first time money is not an issue in my life....and I guess gone are those days when,when I am always in need of money, taking all the loans I can get to survive my everyday expenses and to survive life...Thank God, my cousins are supportive...some are generous....in other words, I see positive life ahead.... but in exchange of all those things is my mother...at the end of the day, it's my mommy that I miss and everything that I regularly do for her....I never really regret that I have turned down several gimicks for her...she's not really the reason, I really just don't feel like going out...I may find freedom when she died but God knows I never prayed for that kind of freedom. Up to the last moment I was fighting for my mommy's life...no matter how many invisible visitors were there waiting for her...but mom is so tired...she deserves to rest...before I sent her to the hospital I overheard saying "pano si Maricel" it was not clear in fact I just thought she called me. Maybe she was talking to my father...maybe he was trying to convince mommy that it was time to go...maybe it took one week for mommy to decide.. and I guess they believe I'm strong enough to be alone... para talagang pelikula buhay ko...only child na nga ako naulila pa...but still...GOD thy will be done....