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Saturday, December 27, 2008

An after Christmas Haircut



This maybe is weird to some but, I can’t help but associate long curly hair to sadness and badluck. So I decided to have a haircut again, to end grudges, fears, and anything negative…






Just this year I had two major haircuts because of significant events in my life.But before I tell my story let me post my latest pictures first… that one taken at Davids Salon Circle Mall

















Moving on, after almost a lifetime of avoiding my natural curl, because of some accident, I decided to maintain a longer curly hair for two years……





only to realize how hard my life looking back since the first month of 2008. I had a year of “PESO” centered life… My dog’s struggle with his perineal hernia became my struggle too…. I did not expect him to have 3 major operations in a year with just less than a month interval… I had a haircut after his 3rd surgery. and I can tell we had a smooth sailing life after that… Peso gained weight….

November 29 when i decided to give in to my friend’s persuasion to have my hair rebonded at her parlor





Hair instantly became longer. The woman who did the rebonding refused to cut my hair…. The following day, when I strolled with Peso, I noticed he was straining to urinate again…. and I know it’s sign that he needed another surgery…. Dec. 1, my dog undergone surgery again, his fourth…… Peso is okey now. His veterinarian said that his muscles are all completely repaired…Problems with Peso ended (with God’s help) But new thing came up… a few days before Christmas, I was told I am going to transfer to another unit…. not much of a bad news, coz before it happened I was already thinking of my job that kept me idle for 8 long years, and I know that former resentments prevented me to like the job, monitoring really bores me, or I just don’t progress anymore…. this development only solves the problem…. But behind that is a rejection from Others too… I have nothing to do with the strengthening or whatever they called it. The new head of my former office just can’t admit it directly that she didn’t like me as her admin staff…. but I can’t blame her.. What ever negative input that she got about me maybe came from my former bosses and officemates too… and I can’t argue about that…I am only one against how many of them, and life at PMS is like a number game… Majority wins… This is not the time to flaunt my strength…and I maybe a little too passive to just let them think of me negatively.. what can I do, I am aware how I lost my approachable image right after I left my other office, which up to now I consider the one that really brought out the “real” Maricel at work.

Now my self esteem is not yet high but it is getting there I know…. My replacement at my former office is obviously more prepared to transfer than I do and I know she felt much more better because she was chosen over me…. I saw myself in her years ago, when a boss requested me to become an admin too… but I know her story will be different….

First step to accepting my fate is to locate all computer chairs that are under my name and I just did it before the long vacation….. Another one is to have a haircut. Be Beautiful to set the difference.






That one was taken at Rustan’s Supermarket.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

I just want to relax

I went out to think about myself and my career. I guess I just had my two emotional
issues and I need a break... Went to Riverbank to dine at Cafe Mina but to my dismay they have limited stocks already, they are moving out to SM Fairview in the near future.

I went to Figaro instead. And since I only saw a couple inside I decided to occupy a place which can accommodate more than six people.



I was sitting acrossed that couch on the picture....Instead of thinking of the unexpected change in my career, and how I tried to avoid my ex when he went to the office, I just took photos of myself, trying to capture the low neckline blouse that I wore.... but I guess I failed to get it.... I can't seem to focus on my cleavage hahaha but instead just almost a close up photos of me....



Am I faking my smile here? no just a little bit conscious. I know not everybody can understand how I enjoy my solitude...







But then I can't help but think of the sudden changed in my career... After 8 years in that unit, I will really need to adjust again in a different unit... though I am thankful I will be reunited with former officemates and friends, I am still fearful about things that can possibly affect my privacy, and mostly my priorities.





A brewed coffee to match my snack.



Half ham sandwich and half ordered pasta...







I like the ham sandwich.


About my ex who visited the office, I was told how pathetic he looks now, and I am not ready to see him yet... not that I am mad at him, but I don't think I can handle another emotional issue. I am not ready and I know eyes will be watching on us. But I am really very sad for him...and when I went home that day, there was a part of me that wanted to make me cry for reasons I cannot explain...



Then I took another photo of myself. I still want to look good, anyway changes may mean a new break for me....so please help me God...

Next Time I will bring my Peso here at Figaro.....Life will be happier then...