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Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Good time with my younger friends

I had a great time last night with Marisse and Mark...yes at last the gimicks that we planned 2 months ago were fulfilled last night and it's worth the wait...well I was always the reason why it didn't push through, I have plenty of reasons...but their eagerness to be with my company overwhlemed me so finally I gave in... So for the first time I go out with people younger than me....younger but more mature than I when it comes to some part of life where maturity is required... Honestly I feel so happy to have friends like them....first time ko to go out with friends na ako ang pinakamatanda and imagine the age difference, parang it's like going out with my younger counsins Ralph and Hiyas....

Monday, April 25, 2005

Paranoia during my one month and a half delayed period

I know it's impossible, but at those times when my period failed to come on time, I was worried...I'm not ready...I'm not financially stable...I'm thinking, if it's meant to happen it will happen. Some friends encouraged me, they said it was a blessing from the Lord....hidden deep inside me is a feeling of longing to have it too...but I have fear....I was about to accept things as they are, trying to plan the next steps that I should do, just in case..... when it finally arrived, At last.it was extra heavy maybe trying to make up for the lost time....and when the paranoia is over, all I have to say is "sayang"...

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Very touching


everything about my mom really touches me... and when I encountered person whose concern to her is more than I expected, it really melts my heart... Sang called, she said, she would like to have early lunch with us, but need to leave at exactly 1pm for a meeting. She works somewhere in clark and she's in Manila for a meeting, I was sending her to where she can get a cab when she handed me something....and when I looked at it was a 1000 bill, she said "it's for mommy,buy her fruits or anything that she needs." I just can't thank her enough... it's not the money (it's 2000 pala)it's how she remembers my mom. I mean Sang is always like that, I can always say that she's really one of the angels in my life, she always arrived in a perfect timing, at times when I'm in need of a company of a friend. Yesterday I just solved some of my financial problems. I never ask her for it but she's giving it with all her heart. trully I'm bless with real good friends. Friends who remained their feet on the ground inspite of what they achieved in life....
(This was written on April 2005, just last year, it feels like a couple of years ago. I'm reviving this for Sang's Birthday, really don't know if she was able to read this before)

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Uncertainties

My delayed menstruation is taking my sanity.. why? becoz it brings me back to my younger years when it was normal for me not to have my period everymonth..I remember how I got disappointed when I thought it was coming but it did not.... I have a noticeably delayed period starting February of this year, i expected it on the 5th of the month but it arrived Feb 13 or 14, then in March it didn't arrive at all. It's now April 13 and I'm still waiting anxiously for it. I wonder if all the strenous activities that I did and will do can make it flow...a crazy funny thing I entertained in my mind is now frightening me....It's impossible I know...but I can't relax until I have it....

Monday, April 11, 2005

About Pope John Paul II

Pope's death reminded me of him in my childhood days...I can't remember the exact year, when he first came to Philippines as Pope, but as far as I remember, I was not even in my teenage years then...Then I remember my father who is really a catholic at heart. He was the one who encouraged me to rejoice the Pope's visit, my father made me develop a fondness for Pope and how significant is his role in the catholic religion...then, 1995 the dear Pope visited again, This time with the Theme of "World Youth Day". For reasons that I can't recall, I didn't exert much to see him. I never really had a change of heart, I guess I was just so carefree and so rebellious that in my immature mind I said, "the Pope, he is so Holy and yet only influential and rich people can freely greet him and ask for his blessings"...I mean just like our Lord, Pope has tremendous love for everybody but I was so jealous then of the rich people. See, who was with him at the stage? former Pres. Cory Aquino and other personalities. And then I feel that in his holiness, there's this dying cure for discrimination....but of course It was not the Pope's fault...then I also realized, if everybody can come to pope at that moment, there will be chaos...it is just so hard that in order to practise descipline, it's the common people who got eliminated or controlled....but that never changed my respect for pope... I may not be actively patronizing him but he has a spot in my heart for I remember my father in him...In his death I felt sad for not thinking too much of him when he was alive...but then I am happy for it awakens a feeling in me, and that is to go back to praying...slowly....and ask for guidance and forgiveness...though I am still remote to change.....I tried to witness his burial via television...at least for the last time, I spent time for him, somehting that I should have done before....